The Crazed by Ha Jin

The Crazed by Ha Jin is a masterful book. Engaging. Carefully detailed. Excellent characterization. Well plotted. The setting is China at the time of the Tiananmen Square movement in 1989.

Briefly, it is about a college professor, Mr. Yang, who after suffering a stroke, is cared for by his star student and soon-to-be son-in-law, Jian Wan. On his sickbed, Mr. Yang recalls things from his past in a rambling disjointed way. At times he is lucid and at times, not. As Yang reveals secrets from his past, Jian Wan, the narrator, begins to see Yang's life in a new and different light, realizing that this is not a life he wants to follow.

I loved how Jian Wan's growth is revealed. As he comes to new realizations, he seeks and discovers what is true and important and what is not. He discovers his true passions do not lie in academia; he learns of the "tricks of the academic game." As he questions his life to that point, the reader begins to see shifts in his ideology and a transformed purpose. Jian Wan's awakening is the story of his generation and his coming of age story parallels that of China's.

In a discussion with Mr. Yang, Jian Wan's true thoughts begin to unfold:

"Have you read Dante?" he asked me in a nasal voice...

"No, I haven't." Unable to say yes, I was somewhat embarrassed. "You should read The Divine Comedy. After you finish it, you will look at the world differently."

So I borrowed all three books of the poem from the library and went through them in two weeks, but I didn't enjoy the poem and felt the world remained the same." (p. 71)

I loved this quote:

Yang recalling his experience as a scholar in the West says this: "Oh, you should have seen the libraries at Berkeley, absolutely magnificent. You can go to the stacks directly, see what's on them, and can even check out some rare books. Frankly, I would die happy if I could work as a librarian in a place like that all my life." (p. 105)

The tension that Jian Wan feels is revealed when another professor asks Yang: "Why should we look down on ourselves so? We're both intellectuals, aren't we?" Yang replies, "No, we're not. Who is an intellectual in China? Ridiculous, anyone with a college education is called an intellectual. The truth is that all people in the humanities are clerks and all people in the sciences are technicians. Tell me, who is a really independent intellectual, has original ideas and speaks the truth? None that I know of. We're all dumb laborers kept by the state--a retrograde species." (p. 153) While this is a conversation between another professor and Yang, Jian Wan takes it to heart and acts on it.

The final quote from the book is this: "Ever since I boarded the train back, a terrible vision had tormented me. I saw China in the form of an old hag so decrepit and brainsick that she would devour her children to sustain herself. Insatiable, she had eaten many tender lives before, was gobbling new flesh and blood now, and would surely swallow more." (p. 315)

A worthy read. One of the best books I've read this year.

photos of Czech Republic

My

I promised I would include some photos of Czech Republic. So here are a few.

Top: Linda and Czech friends having tea.

Middle: Linda and Verka

Bottom: Joanie and Ondra. I love their smiles and laughter.

Destiny

I've been thinking of how miraculous it is that the God of the universe desires a relationship with his human creatures. That faith, my faith, is tied to destiny. My destiny is secure. Nothing can separate us from the love of God. We are promised this in Scripture. And God's love is for everyone. I really don't understand it. I don't understand the God, Jesus Christ, Holy Spirit relationship. But I believe it in faith. My little brain and my small human logic doesn't really get it.

It does have something to do with humility. Humility is from the Holy Spirit. He makes us who we are and gives us the mind of Christ, a true, right view of self. Our character is produced by the Holy Spirit. Our lives manifest the fruits of the Spirit. Christ bought us with a price and we can live in the moment of today resting in faith. Praise be to God for His unspeakable gifts.

I'm Inspired to write

The Festival of Faith and Writing has inspired me. On the trip home I was dreaming of plots for future writing. I envisioned a short story here and a novel there. The trouble is I never act on it. I think I have great ideas in my head, but those ideas never seem to get on paper. So I'm going to try to do a new thing. I'm going to blog some random thoughts. Just snippets of unfinished ideas. Fiction. Non-fiction. Truth and Error. Inspired or uninspired. So here's my first paragraph.

Why do Christians judge other people?

I was thinking of a time when I was younger (but still old enough to know better.) I once thought that making fun of people's idiosyncratic behaviors as fodder for my sad and pathetic humor; I thought it was funny. I did make fun of people. I did (and still do) judge people. I confess it, and it shames me.

Mostly I'm thinking of times when my sister and I spoke unkindly of our aunt (and some other relatives.) My memory has faded as to what specific quirky things she said or did that we felt were so amusing. But I'm left with feelings of remorse for making fun of her behind her back. She really was a hospitable and generous person, undeserving of those words. Although she is gone now, I find that I miss her quite a lot. I wish I could enjoy those idiosyncracies today that at one time I thought were so funny.

The reality is that we are all quirky people. We all have those characteristics or behaviors that, while they seem funny to other people, are really sometime endearing when we turn them a little bit, looking at them from another angle. Our quirkiness is what makes us who we are. But if we are authentic, if we are human, we need to embrace a love wide enough to accept others with their all of their quirks and flaws, just as we ourselves want to be accepted for our own.

The trouble with backbiting is we are far to pious and clever to mock people to their faces. Wouldn't speaking directly to them be more honest? But backbiters never do. By hiding behind spaces and distance, heartless comments can never be defended. How cowardly this backbiting is. And arrogant. How is it that we think we are better than another? How unbecoming is this kind of posturing and pride. This unkindness is not love. It isn't living out the Golden Rule. I am shamed by it.

I wonder sometimes if those behaviors come back to haunt us. For example, I've wondered if children exhibit the behaviors of their parents. So, for parents who speak unkindly, backbite or mock others, do their children model this? For example, do my nieces and nephew think of me, their aunt, in the same unkind terms that my sister and I spoke of ours? I don't know my nieces and nephews well enough to say. But I would want for them a deeper conviction to live their Christian faith with a wider, more generous view of others, and to be able to understand humility in the face of other people. None of us has anything to stand on based on our own actions or worth. How is humility and a gracious spirit learned if not from those mentors and models around us?

I was just thinking about a legacy I might live for them. I would like them to know me not for my behaviors but for my heart. A heart of compassion and humility. I hope I've learned something about enlarging my heart toward accepting other people and I hope to share this idea some how.

The message in church today was: "Do not judge or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Matthew 7: 1-2.

These are some of Jesus' words that I don't like very much. I don't like this passage in light of my past. And sometimes even my present. This passage seems to imply that if I continued to live a life of mockery, I might also be mocked. If I continue to backbite about others, others will talk badly about me. I have been thinking about opening my heart to a wider acceptance of people.

Oh, I know that God forgives us because Jesus' action on the cross on our behalf.

I just don't have it all resolved. This is a paragraph in the making just as my actions are.

Broken For You by Stephanie Kallos

I just returned from the 2010 Festival of Faith and Writing at Calvin. Oh, it was wonderful. I am inspired to write more and read more. I'm reading Broken for You by Stephanie Kallos who was one of the presenters. I love the sense of place--Seattle and the lively characters. Without giving away the plot there is a lot of brokenness in ways I didn't expect.

So here's a brief entry. Keep looking for more.

How could God use peanut butter cookies to advance His Kingdom?*

The destination this January was Chotebor, Czech Republic for a team of 16 students and three sponsors where we shared our lives and Christian faith on a great God-assigned adventure. It is hard to describe these very busy 3 weeks or to convey in a few words the significance of our efforts there. But I'll try.

What we did.

We were invited into several schools to teach English and PE and to engage students in conversational English. We invited those students to a number of after-school activities for follow-up and intentional conversations over coffee or tea at the local coffee shop. We participated in youth group and invited kids there, spent time hanging out with kids of all ages: at a couple of state run children's homes, a nursing home and some local Gypsy kids (the boys are great at beat boxing). All of our efforts were to provide links for the local ministry and draw them into relationships with local Believers.

We hosted two bigger community events where the Americans provided desserts* (one of my roles was to bake about 9 dozen, mostly peanut butter, cookies as well as several dozen muffins. Since peanut butter is relatively unavailable the peanut butter cookies were quite popular! We also made a chicken enchilada meal to serve 70 people as part of an outreach. Relationships we made have continued through Facebook, Skype, and e-mail. And we heard that many new kids are attending the youth meetings. Since we've been back on campus a few girls on the team are meeting at my home weekly to pray for the ministry and people in Czech Republic, especially for the planting of a church in Chotebor where there is currently no Protestant church.

A few reflections

A few things I learned have to do with keeping my eyes and heart open for God's work, being a willing and obedient servant, and participationg fully in the moments I've been given. Perhaps these aren't very profound thoughts, but God has reminded me that it is the small things that matter. Frequently He reminds me that in my weakness He will do what I cannot, but that I need to do my best for Him even when I don't see the bigger picture or my role. Even though 3 weeks is a short time, I am reminded that time is in God's hands, and He alone chooses to do what He will with our moments, a minute or a lifetime. And His work goes beyond our vision or knowledge. The truth that reassures me is that our lives, even the mundane moments living in Indiana, have an impact to further His Kingdom.

In short, my attempt to write a reflection is a form of verifying and thanking God for His work. I am grateful for this awareness. It is a great day to be alive! And now whenever I make peanut butter cookies I will remember Chotebor, the friends I made, and the outstanding team of students who shared the experiences. God will build His church and save people using small things. I'm blessed to play a small part in it.