Why do Christians judge other people?
I was thinking of a time when I was younger (but still old enough to know better.) I once thought that making fun of people's idiosyncratic behaviors as fodder for my sad and pathetic humor; I thought it was funny. I did make fun of people. I did (and still do) judge people. I confess it, and it shames me.
Mostly I'm thinking of times when my sister and I spoke unkindly of our aunt (and some other relatives.) My memory has faded as to what specific quirky things she said or did that we felt were so amusing. But I'm left with feelings of remorse for making fun of her behind her back. She really was a hospitable and generous person, undeserving of those words. Although she is gone now, I find that I miss her quite a lot. I wish I could enjoy those idiosyncracies today that at one time I thought were so funny.
The reality is that we are all quirky people. We all have those characteristics or behaviors that, while they seem funny to other people, are really sometime endearing when we turn them a little bit, looking at them from another angle. Our quirkiness is what makes us who we are. But if we are authentic, if we are human, we need to embrace a love wide enough to accept others with their all of their quirks and flaws, just as we ourselves want to be accepted for our own.
The trouble with backbiting is we are far to pious and clever to mock people to their faces. Wouldn't speaking directly to them be more honest? But backbiters never do. By hiding behind spaces and distance, heartless comments can never be defended. How cowardly this backbiting is. And arrogant. How is it that we think we are better than another? How unbecoming is this kind of posturing and pride. This unkindness is not love. It isn't living out the Golden Rule. I am shamed by it.
I wonder sometimes if those behaviors come back to haunt us. For example, I've wondered if children exhibit the behaviors of their parents. So, for parents who speak unkindly, backbite or mock others, do their children model this? For example, do my nieces and nephew think of me, their aunt, in the same unkind terms that my sister and I spoke of ours? I don't know my nieces and nephews well enough to say. But I would want for them a deeper conviction to live their Christian faith with a wider, more generous view of others, and to be able to understand humility in the face of other people. None of us has anything to stand on based on our own actions or worth. How is humility and a gracious spirit learned if not from those mentors and models around us?
I was just thinking about a legacy I might live for them. I would like them to know me not for my behaviors but for my heart. A heart of compassion and humility. I hope I've learned something about enlarging my heart toward accepting other people and I hope to share this idea some how.
The message in church today was: "Do not judge or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Matthew 7: 1-2.
These are some of Jesus' words that I don't like very much. I don't like this passage in light of my past. And sometimes even my present. This passage seems to imply that if I continued to live a life of mockery, I might also be mocked. If I continue to backbite about others, others will talk badly about me. I have been thinking about opening my heart to a wider acceptance of people.
Oh, I know that God forgives us because Jesus' action on the cross on our behalf.
I just don't have it all resolved. This is a paragraph in the making just as my actions are.
No comments:
Post a Comment