The fatherless find their rest...

We sing this song in church sometimes, and I think of it as my personal prayer to God. It goes something like this: "the fatherless find their rest in your Great Name...Jesus, worthy is the lamb who was slain for us...son of God and man..." So there in a nutshell is my theological belief:  the very personal Jesus who has been my comfort and rest in all of these years of being fatherless.  He is God who entered my world and felt the same pain I feel by being separated from his Father the same as I am temporarily separated from my father. There is something supernatural at play. There is a veil that makes my understanding of Kingdom-life cloudy. Sometimes I get a glimpse of understanding of the strength and power Jesus brings to my life. He has helped me weather some hard times, self doubt, and He has given me a new life of trust and confidence in him, still imperfect, yet evident. Though death is separating us now, my hope is in a future shared with my earthly father and with Jesus. He who will lift the veil of my understanding and give me new eyes to see and ears to hear.

I wonder quite a lot what my father understood about Jesus. I think he had faith in Him. I remember that he took us to church and I remember his preferences in certain preaching. I think he chose churches based on the preaching, perhaps Wesleyan theology,  but wasn't involved (at least later in life) in the administration of the church during my lifetime. I was told that at one time he was a good Sunday school teacher, but I think before I was around. When I was going through some papers I found this scripture in his handwriting:  Proverbs 25:2-3 which says, "it is the glory of God to conceal a matter, to search out a matter is the glory of kings. As the heavens are high and the earth is deep, so the hearts of kings are searchable." This has come to be one of my favorite verses. I wonder if it encapsulates his own belief and how he came to choose it to write down.

I think he modeled the fruits of the spirit: peace, love, joy, goodness, faithfulness, self control (in most areas but not in regards to smoking cigarettes and an occasional cigar) patience, and gentleness. I want to think more about how he reflected these in later posts.